It'll change you
by brightshadowflame
Summary: Ron and Harry at the top of the astronomy tower at the end of Dumbledore's funeral.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter world.**

Harry was sitting on the top of the astronomy tower, the wind blowing through his hair and grey clouds seemingly on top of him, threatening to let loose. It had been a hard day. His dress robes were half open, his hair its usual mess, and his glasses were sitting slightly askew. Through them he saw out past the stone banister and onto the lake, where Harry's mentor and friend had just been buried. Naturally he did not feel as relaxed as he looked.

This was the hardest thing to bear. Harry felt that with each death everything was becoming so much harder rather than any easier. He wasn't getting used to it – far from that – but was feeling as if there deaths shut off a part of himself every time. The war started with Cedric, just a schoolboy, and then continued with Sirius and now Dumbledore, but where would it end? Would it just be him left all alone, left to fight a war he didn't want a part of? Little by little it was destroying him from the inside, it was painful and he was beginning to feel an emptiness creeping into his heart and was sure he couldn't take much more.

Today had been hard, because he knew what he'd have to do next, and he knew it would be alone. Ron and Hermione didn't know what they were getting into or signing up for that much was obvious to him. What reason was there to follow him? They must know that he didn't know what he was doing, he had said that to them loud and clear? If he were perfectly honest, he just didn't want to have to be truly alone, that would be the worse loss of all.

The door to the tower opened, and Harry whipped around grabbing his wand, which he'd laid beside him. A mess of bright red stuck through, and Harry relaxed immediately. Ron quietly, and in his own awkward way, stepped through the door, and came and sat over by Harry. His face pulled itself into a grimace as he looked over the side.

"You know, I never liked it up here. Too high." Harry laughed at that, trust Ron to be afraid of the height from the astronomy tower.

"You like Quidditch." Ron scoffed at that.

"Well, yeah, but Quidditch is different." Harry shrugged, and continued his staring match with the still, grey lake. Ron caught his line of vision and sighed. "It's strange, I never really knew him, never even spoke to him really, but…well, I guess this has just made everything sink in, more…I mean, I spoke to Cedric more than D-Dumbledore, and Sirius I considered more of a mate than the bloke. But now it really feels like…like everything could go wrong. I could loose everything, my family, Hermione, you, and now we've lost the person who I thought might know everything."

"I know." Harry murmured softly, the feelings of desertion from a few moments ago making there ugly heads known again, "There is just so much to loose…" Ron nodded, his face hard.

"Yeah, and even more to save. This war…well it's only just beginning isn't it?" Harry laughed bitterly, the sound seeming to make everything seem darker, the clouds threatening to break, and drench them all in the blackness. Ron seemed to be thinking along the same lines, fixing his eyes up on the sky above.

"Yep. Everything is going to change now."

"War changes everything," Ron shrugged, "It'll change the whole world, our friends, my family, me. It'll change you. That much even I know 's for certain." There was silence, and Harry could feel Ron's eyes staring right through him.

"But, Harry mate, there's something you've got to know. No matter what happens, Hermione and I…Well you've got us. Remember that. We know it's going to be hard, and we probably won't know what to do half the time, but we'll be okay and work it out. We have to help you; it's what's meant to happen. I know we were bloody awful at divination, and I couldn't tell you tomorrows weather from some tea leaves or a crystal ball, but I know this is right. I can feel it." Harry turned to look at him, and saw how serious Ron looked, the intensity of his gaze making him want to look away. That and what he said made him rethink his thoughts from earlier. He was wrong, he wasn't completely alone. Not yet. Ron and Hermione knew what they were up against, and they were (for some god known reason) still there.

_That was something at least_, Harry thought. _No matter what happens in this war, where I go or what I do, there will always be Ron and Hermione. My friends will be with me until the end, and for now just maybe that's enough._

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